Keepin' it real.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
This shiz is bananas...
Kids are making me CUH-RAZY. I get that they're young and curious, but can you pretty pretty please shut the heck UP?! Whew! I mean, is it really necessary to come from your room (that FEMA would declare a disaster area & would prob require haz-mat suits to clean up) to ask me if you can take your SHOES OFF?! I must be getting punkd, because this shit is ridiculous.
Youngest stayed home from PK today, because I had a shit-ton (yes, that is an actual unit of measure) of stuff to get done around here. 47,000 loads of laundry, sink full of dishes, dirty mutt to wash/groom, car to clean out, vacuum/dust/windex... You name it, it needed done. Well around 10, the ever loving bf called to have me bring him something he left in my van. Ok, no biggie. Well when I get to his work, he needs me to follow him around the corner to drop his car off at the body shop. Uhmmm... Okay.. After THIRTY MINUTES of waiting for him in the van, he emerges... And announces we need to make a trip to Home Depot. Then we had to go back to the body shop. THEN BACK TO HOME DEPOT. THEN AN HOUR AND A HALF ROUND TRIP TO PICK UP SOME STUPID THINGY-MA-BOB FOR HIS CAR TO GET FIXED! Um, Bub, just in case you haven't noticed... I'm not a damn courier. A stop off at McDonald's for youngest some lunch was also thrown in. "She doesn't need any sauce. I don't let her use it in the van." ... BBQ sauce exploded all over her. And all over her booster seat. And all over my car seat. And all over the floor.
And he wondered why I was a little grouchy. Also wanted to know why I was being a "bitch" when he was making little flirty innuendos. Ha. Dream on, buddy.
In other news, more reject letters from the job hunt. Apparently 5+ years in customer service industry/office assisting/sales does not qualify me to dust some shelves or scrub a floor. (Yep. Merry Maids rejected me. How pathetic.) I always figured it must be really hard for a felon to find gainful employment. Seems as though I'm not having much better luck. Should have shanked that f'er that cut me off in traffic when I wanted to. I'd still be unemployed, but at least that would have given me a smidge of satisfaction.
Youngest stayed home from PK today, because I had a shit-ton (yes, that is an actual unit of measure) of stuff to get done around here. 47,000 loads of laundry, sink full of dishes, dirty mutt to wash/groom, car to clean out, vacuum/dust/windex... You name it, it needed done. Well around 10, the ever loving bf called to have me bring him something he left in my van. Ok, no biggie. Well when I get to his work, he needs me to follow him around the corner to drop his car off at the body shop. Uhmmm... Okay.. After THIRTY MINUTES of waiting for him in the van, he emerges... And announces we need to make a trip to Home Depot. Then we had to go back to the body shop. THEN BACK TO HOME DEPOT. THEN AN HOUR AND A HALF ROUND TRIP TO PICK UP SOME STUPID THINGY-MA-BOB FOR HIS CAR TO GET FIXED! Um, Bub, just in case you haven't noticed... I'm not a damn courier. A stop off at McDonald's for youngest some lunch was also thrown in. "She doesn't need any sauce. I don't let her use it in the van." ... BBQ sauce exploded all over her. And all over her booster seat. And all over my car seat. And all over the floor.
And he wondered why I was a little grouchy. Also wanted to know why I was being a "bitch" when he was making little flirty innuendos. Ha. Dream on, buddy.
In other news, more reject letters from the job hunt. Apparently 5+ years in customer service industry/office assisting/sales does not qualify me to dust some shelves or scrub a floor. (Yep. Merry Maids rejected me. How pathetic.) I always figured it must be really hard for a felon to find gainful employment. Seems as though I'm not having much better luck. Should have shanked that f'er that cut me off in traffic when I wanted to. I'd still be unemployed, but at least that would have given me a smidge of satisfaction.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Come on in...
Hey y'all! Settle in, take your coat off... I'm about to unleash some serious venting!
Aaaaannnddd... GO!
+My kids' room is a disaster. I want to take every last thing in there and throw it out the window. But I won't, because then our yard would look like Sanford & Son. (And let's face it, I don't really need any help in that area as it is.)
+Nerves lately have been shot to hell. Not sure if it's the state of chaos this house is in, getting asked to run all over our great God's green earth all day every day, or the lack of "fun money", but I have been stabby as all get out. I haven't even wanted to drink because I know it will just make me cry/kill someone. And that, y'all, is some serious shit.
+The boyfriend has lost his mind, and I'm refusing to let him lose mine, too. Homeboy needs to learn to STFU and just listen. I always feel like saying "Do you understand the WORDS that are coming outta my MOUTH?!" (a la Chris Rock in Rush Hour - Fine piece of cinema, lemme tell you.)
+Our dog is a mess. Her fur is like velcro and she's got a bush's worth of leaves stuck to her ass at any given time. And those little brown things that are passing the pollen everywhere?! Yep. All. Over. Her. It's bad enough that I'm allergic to her furry butt as it is, but add in pollen?! Yep. That's a hospital visit waiting to happen. (Not that I wouldn't love and appreciate the vacation! God, you hear me up there?!)
+I have a girl crush on Bethenny. Not, like, I think she's hot (so not my type), but dang that woman is serious business. She is the QUEEN of snark and I L.O.V.E. it!
+Um, really? So buying a package of Spring Oreos? Yeah, that was a great idea. Great idea my ass. (Getting bigger... As we speak...) Good thing they're gone. Three days after I bought them. Ahem.
+My grandmother bought the kids swimsuits for "when we go to the beach this summer". Uhm, Granny?! Unless you are paying for some fun-in-the-sun and sand-between-our-toes-not-in-our-cracks, have you lost your ever loving mind?! Mama's been out of a job for three months... A beach vacay, unemployment does not make.
Aaaaannnddd... GO!
+My kids' room is a disaster. I want to take every last thing in there and throw it out the window. But I won't, because then our yard would look like Sanford & Son. (And let's face it, I don't really need any help in that area as it is.)
+Nerves lately have been shot to hell. Not sure if it's the state of chaos this house is in, getting asked to run all over our great God's green earth all day every day, or the lack of "fun money", but I have been stabby as all get out. I haven't even wanted to drink because I know it will just make me cry/kill someone. And that, y'all, is some serious shit.
+The boyfriend has lost his mind, and I'm refusing to let him lose mine, too. Homeboy needs to learn to STFU and just listen. I always feel like saying "Do you understand the WORDS that are coming outta my MOUTH?!" (a la Chris Rock in Rush Hour - Fine piece of cinema, lemme tell you.)
+Our dog is a mess. Her fur is like velcro and she's got a bush's worth of leaves stuck to her ass at any given time. And those little brown things that are passing the pollen everywhere?! Yep. All. Over. Her. It's bad enough that I'm allergic to her furry butt as it is, but add in pollen?! Yep. That's a hospital visit waiting to happen. (Not that I wouldn't love and appreciate the vacation! God, you hear me up there?!)
+I have a girl crush on Bethenny. Not, like, I think she's hot (so not my type), but dang that woman is serious business. She is the QUEEN of snark and I L.O.V.E. it!
+Um, really? So buying a package of Spring Oreos? Yeah, that was a great idea. Great idea my ass. (Getting bigger... As we speak...) Good thing they're gone. Three days after I bought them. Ahem.
+My grandmother bought the kids swimsuits for "when we go to the beach this summer". Uhm, Granny?! Unless you are paying for some fun-in-the-sun and sand-between-our-toes-not-in-our-cracks, have you lost your ever loving mind?! Mama's been out of a job for three months... A beach vacay, unemployment does not make.
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